I was asked the other day if I had a logo what would it be? I thought a lot about this and about the meaning of a logo. A logo should be something that says something about the person or business it represents. I thought about the life that I have lived and all the things I have been through. This image is what I came up with. The base is a Phoenix that one of my best friends drew for me as my first tattoo. The meaning behind it sums up my life.
The phoenix is a mythical bird that is born of fire and rises from the ashes. Some say that they die in the flames and are reborn again from the ashes. Another story states that the bird lives in a cycle. When the cycle comes to an end the bird combusts in flames and the cycle simply starts again from the ashes with a new start.
With every event that happens in our lives we are changed just a little and from that moment forward we are not the same person. When a person goes through a major trauma that person changes that much more from that event. The person they were dies in a sense and a new person is born from the ashes. Sometimes it take a while for a person to find their feet again after this type of a rebirth, but once they do they are never the person the were before.
I know this first hand. I have had several events in my life where I have been torn down by others or by my own emotions and mind. I suffer from General Anxiety Disorder and Depression. I have dealt with these disorders since I was a teenager. There are days that are easier than others and I have had to find ways to live with them. There are times where the trauma that I deal with is within my own mind. It is a terrible thing to be at war with your mind. Writing and making up stories helps with this war. Sometimes by escaping into a different world and writing the story can help to focus my mind on something other than the internal war or as a way to express that inner war.
Other times the trauma has come from others and what others have done or said. I had people for years tell me that I was not smart enough to go to college. I had a guidance counselor in high school tell me that I should not aim to high and try a four year college. That a community college or trade school would be better. I have had several people over the years tell me that I am not able to do things and even a few that told me specifically that my stories were stupid. So I thought for a long time that writing was something I couldn't do. So I kept my stories secret and most of them were based of books I read or shows I watched. Then the characters were not of my own creation. If someone said they were silly or anything like that, they were not my creation.
After thinking about all of this I came to the conclusion that this Phoenix was more than just a drawing or my first tattoo, it is my logo. No matter what people put me through and no matter what happens to me. I will find a way and I will rise from the ashes and start again.
